Try.

I think I'll just pretend it hasn't been over a year... if it's all the same to you. :)

A few things from this summer that are worth mentioning:

• I've been setting up my classroom for a second  year of teaching math at Air Academy!
• I'm the new student council advisor.
• I bought a Harley.
• We had a lovely wedding.
• This thunderstorm is shaking the house.

So, there's that.

(Be right back.  Time to put dinner in the oven.)

The past few years have brought about some of the most severe, yet welcomed, growing pains of my life.  I'd like to share one that has been on my mind the most:  embracing mistakes.  This has proven to be one of the greatest challenges of my life to overcome.  Anytime I feel as if I have failed in any way, my reaction has been to shut down/give up.  I've seen it happen in relationships when I feel as though I've failed as a friend, or flaked one time too many, and just gracefully backed away ashamed.  I've also seen it when new opportunities arise, and I've avoided them for fear of looking foolish trying.  Since Kelly, that all has changed.

Now, I am much more willing and eager to admit a mistake or shortcoming, apologize, and move on.  For example, if I double book myself by accident, instead of shutting down and not communicating with anyone, I will inform both parties and apologize.  It sounds simple, but is so hard for me.  I am a better skier now because I was willing to take risks and laugh at myself when I face planted or lost a ski in the waist-deep powder.  I can ride a motorcycle now because I was willing to wobble around on a bike, realizing that with practice would come confidence.

Maybe you can relate; maybe you have no clue where I am coming from...  I have an intellectual understanding of what it means to be a good friend, or spouse, or runner, or teacher, or skier, or any other identity I may temporarily assume.  But, I have been scared of the practical application of each of those things-- thanks to the inevitable mistakes entailed.  Now, at nearly 26, I'm learning to love embracing those mistakes.  I savor new-beginnings in order to better enjoy the celebration of growth down the road.  I accept that reaching a goal requires taking countless small steps.  And I respect and appreciate those around me who are tripping as much or more than I am along the way, but persevere with a smile on their face.

It is still a struggle, and still a mental battle.  One day.  One choice.  One expression of forgiveness.  One step.  One inch at a time... I am growing.

"Mistakes mean you're trying."

Reverse 911

OK, I know, I'm a bit late on posting about the fire.  Better late than never, right?

Kelly and I were driving home from my PLACE exam (which is another story in and of itself) when we saw the plume of smoke rising behind Mount Blodgett.  Occasionally the Air Force Academy conducts controlled burns on its property so I brushed it off.  Then we saw it; the sign that read "Fire in Waldo Canyon.  Do not call to report."  WHAT!?  There's a fire in Waldo Canyon??  Thus began a week of being glued to the news 24/7, following every move the fire would make.

On a side note, it is more challenging than you might think to type while eating a Popsicle.  Just sayin'.


After several days of watching the fire grow larger and nearer the unthinkable happened:  it jumped Queens Canyon.  Until then we had no real expectation of an evacuation because the flames remained ridges away.  The time did come, however, to pack our belongings.  It was amazing to realize how little we needed from the house--safety was truly our priority.  So, we packed up and headed to my big sister's place.  It was actually a rather fun adventure spending time with her-- you would be amazed at the ability my nine month old niece had to diffuse any tension and anxiety.

Several homes burned.  Thousands more could have.  I cannot begin to describe the magnitude of the efforts and victories of the fire fighters.

Four days later we returned home with grateful hearts, and a relieved sister.

Things I took away from the experience:
* Things are just things.
* Home is not defined by a structure.
* Family, family, family.
* You won't regret packing a portable air conditioner if evacuated during 100+ degree weather..
* I live in an awesome community and have incredible friends.

Thank you to all of those who offered their homes to us.  And thank you to all those first responders and soldiers who kept us safe.

June 24, 2012

June 25, 2012

June 26, 2012

There is much, much more that I could say.  Mostly, we're just happy to be home.

Hi there!

I'm still here :).  There is so much to say, but I'd rather basque in the sweet evening air and listen to my sweetie make music.  

For now, just know that I am blissfully happy.  I've got it all: The dream guy.  The dream job.  The dream home.  And a whole lot of hard work and service staring back at me.

God is so good.  All the time.

Oh.  And I've got the dream family.

More Life

"Why do we teach music?

Not because we expect you to major in music.

Not because we expect you to play all your life.

Not so you can relax.

Not so you can have fun.

But: so you will be human,

so you will recognize beauty,

so you will be sensitive,

so you will be closer to an infinite beyond this world,

so you will have something to cling to,

so you will have more love, more compassion, more gentleness,

more good--in short, more life."

Trick or Treat!

I have been looking forward to this night since I moved in in June.  I did not allow any scheduling conflicts, made sure my workout was early in the afternoon, and filled my pumpkin-shaped bowl with candy.  My string of little Jack-o-Lantern lights came on at 5:00 on the dot, lighting the way to my door.  After months of waiting I  finally greeted my first trick-or-treaters-- the beautiful weather brought far more than expected.  What a joy it has been to share treats with so many little ones in their creative and extravagent outfits!  I have definitely been blessed by all the sweet, little faces (disguised though they were) that rang this doorbell.

Happy Halloween!

Auburn and Gold

Holden and I spent the morning hiking through the golden aspens.

 He pulled a dead tree out of the ground.

It was the perfect birthday present.

Love you, little bro :).

Naomi BobbiSue Lucia

My niece.

 She is perfect.

They are so happy.

She wasn't pleased with the Buff's performance against Ohio State today.

阿姨

I'm going to be an Auntie!!!!!!!!!! Heehee. I am ridiculously excited to watch Tony and Kasia introduce a new life to the world! Not to mention the fact that they are letting me be a part of her little life. She and I will have both been born in the year of the rabbit: 兔子.

I will be ayi (ah-yee). Coincidentally, I called myself "ah ah Lee" when I was learning to talk. My money is on her saying my name first :).

Go Figure

I went to school to study piano. Then I figured it would be wise to continue studies for a more "practical" degree, so I chose to complete my MA in elementary education. It was therefore my assumption that I would pursue a career as an elementary school teacher (which I will most likely still do). For now, however, I am working 40+ hours a week playing my instrument.

Love it!

Woo!

I weeded the garden and mowed the lawn. Oh, how I love to play outside! It serves my heart so well.

Teenagers

I am working with teenagers. A lot of teenagers.

At times they are kind and generous. At others they show a seeming lack of respect and classroom etiquette. They are full of energy, spontaneity and confusion, and are evidently ever-changing.

I have a lot to learn: names, sign language, music, culture, leadership...the list goes on.

What a great challenge.

Gradually...

...I'm learning!

Deer don't care for gnomes or Delphiniums. But they like geraniums and lilies.

You have to keep an eye on squash, because it seems to suddenly be ready for harvest! And also, this is a calabalista (Mexican squash).

Tomatoes stay green for a really long time.

And some tomatoes are red, but others are yellow or orange.

It looked bigger on the plant, but harvesting young makes for tender, flavorful veggies!

You're supposed to trim the stems off of the Swiss chard.

Zwiling J.A. Henkels Signature, not to be confused with J.A. Henkel International, produce the best stainless steel silverware (especially knives).

My Baba wants to make sure that I have the very best.

I'm extremely grateful that my parents are right down the road ready to help and teach me! Now, I'm off to dig up some flowers from Mom's yard to plant in mine. Hee :).

Charmed

Sweet Kelly came home to stay. For nine, beautiful days. He fell right into step, and no one could help but adore him. During a time of emotional transition for my mom's family, he was here to help so that everything on the home front might stay on track. He spoiled my sister while her husband was off at training and stayed ready to assist by my father's side, looking to him with such admiration. If ever there were a doubt in my mind about this love, it has been swept away. So sweet is the feeling of being fully supported by my family in my love for this man.

18 months and counting...

Choo choo

Home

I love: waking up to the birds chirping so loudly, riding my bike down the road that I first learned to ride without training wheels on, hearing the leaves rustle and the creek tumble while sharing meals with my family, waving to neighbors as they pass by because everyone waves, ringing the dinner bell and hearing others rung, watching the garden grow, never feeling lonely, and finding rest in a place that is mine. Most of all, I love spending everyday looking forward to sharing it all with the one I love.

Hammock

Oh, yeah.

Inch by Inch, Row by Row

I'm gonna make this garden grow. I hope...

Raspberry patch (there are a bunch of plants around the yard I can transplant to fill it in).

Future vegetable garden--digging up the stubborn grass.

Raking in some fertile soil.

And...complete!!

The planting will begin tonight. Wee!!

To Jane: The Keen Stars Were Twinkling

The keen stars were twinkling,

And the fair moon was rising among them,
Dear Jane!
The guitar was tinkling,
But the notes were not sweet till you sung them
Again.

As the moon's soft splendour
O'er the faint cold starlight of Heaven
Is thrown,
So your voice most tender
To the strings without soul had then given
Its own.

The stars will awaken,
Though the moon sleep a full hour later,
Tonight;
No leaf will be shaken
Whilst the dews of your melody scatter
Delight.

Though the sound overpowers,
Sing again, with your dear voice revealing
A tone
Of some world far from ours,
Where music and moonlight and feeling
Are one.

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Leaving Denver

I'm going to miss:

• the Steinways
• the bustle
• the coffee shop
• the mole hills disguised as mountains
• the bicycles and long boards
• the discussions
• the structure
• the parks
• the crazies
• the exotic
• the trail (you know the one)
• the innocence
• the discoveries
• the wonder
• the air

Things I'm looking forward:

• the stillness
• the birds
• the time
• the colors
• the sunsets
• the summer air
• the laughter
• the music
• the bicycle rides
• the words
• the family
• the grill
• the adventures
• the runs
• the anticipation
• the new journey
• our new home

An Ode

Pastor Anne wrote a poem, I posted part below. Have a look :). She's so cute!

Ode to the Calvary Choir & JuBellation

You Calvary Musicians are quite unique,

Rehearsing with dedication week after week.

Your directors take your talent and with a few tweaks,

You sing and you ring with skilled technique.

Now Kevin tells me that he expects a lot out of you singers,

And the warm-ups he puts you through include a few ringers…

Like One, One-Two-One, One-Two-Three-Two-One and Six-Seven-Eight-Seven-Six,

Singing and counting backwards – at least now you can add that to your bag of tricks!

So I thank each and every one of you that is so dedicated to the Calvary Choir,

Because when you sing, the Spirit of the Living God does indeed transpire.

Sunday after Sunday, your pastoral staff knows much time and heart is required,

And we couldn’t do what we do – without you – so please don’t all of you retire!

Especially – you – Miss Austina Lee – as we need your gifts on piano and flute,

Accompanying rehearsals and leading sectionals – with your “Please and Thank You” – so cute.

I’m always impressed how early you show up, with a smile, for the 8:15 service,

And that your selections – like Shine, Jesus Shine, this past week – are picked with great purpose.

It’s amazing all that you do given that Kevin throws things at you left and right,

Your easy-going and willing spirit is, week after week, such a bright light.

Now, as one who works with Mr. Kevin Padworski each and every day,

I sympathize with all of you musicians having to deal with his idiosyncratic ways…

What with his perfect pitch, music theory nerdiness, and all those instruments he plays…

And how giddy he gets about organ pipes and discovering new songs of praise,

But the truth is Kevin – you are so gifted and giving – that you blow us all away.

I know that you rehearse on Wednesdays sooooo very late at night,

Which makes what you do even more impressive – you are dedicated – outright.

Calvary Musicians – I’m so grateful for your talent and time,

Without you, our worship wouldn’t be nearly so sublime…

Know that you are appreciated and that you have been greatly gifted by the Lord,

I look forward to all the music you have yet to make and will relish every chord.

~Anne M. Jernberg