How do you get chocolate syrup out of car mats?

Swinging with my eyes closed.

If you ask me how I'm doing, I'll lie. We are in the midst of finals, which in my program come in the form of 25-30 page papers that are submitted not only for a grade, but for review by a panel to approve us for recommendation for licensure. Report cards are due Monday, CSAP testing is Tuesday and Wednesday, budgets are being finalized, behavior issues are at their peak, and it is the season of annual reviews. It has become a part of my daily routine to find a quiet/private place to shed a few tears in hopes of releasing enough stress to continue on with a smile. Last night it turned into a complete melt down, but that's neither here nor there. This is just a difficult time, and I knew full well what we were stepping into this quarter-- it's just a damned good thing I'm wearing my rubber boots!

But then there are my sweet, sweet students who surprised me by reciting an acrositic poem they entitled "Miss Lee is Awesome" at our poetry reading, who run up to me thrilled to share the latest story they've written, whose eyes light up when I shoot a smile their way, who race me across the muddy field with no sympathy for the fact that I'm wearing heels, who giggle with me as we read about the BFG's frobscottle and whizpoppers, who come to me to dry their tears, who tell me I'm beautiful, and who I love so very dearly.

This afternoon, my little autistic girl grabbed my hand and raced me to the swings. After reassuring me that the swing wouldn't break and that it was just squeaking because of my weight, she asked me if I've ever swung with my eyes closed. Come to think of it, no, I don't remember ever having done so. So, I closed me eyes and heard her sweet voice ask, "doesn't it feel like you are flying?" That is exactly what it felt like.

These children ground me. From the behavior issues, to the innocent little angels, their hearts are enormous and their love is contagious.

They are why I do what I do.

Phew!

Yeah, that was a tough week. Glad it's over!

So not true!

Holden wrote this on my parent's dry erase board yesterday, after I couldn't answer his phone calls because I was teaching/in class. :(.

It says: wo de yi jie jie bu ai wo! Which means, my big sister doesn't love me.

What a goob.

So worth it.

What better excuse to get up at the crack of dawn and drive through the snow, than to have breakfast with my sister who couldn't sleep?? Oh, how I LOVE my sweet big sis, and our quality time at the Omlet Parlor.

Plus, I get a kick out of the fact that she's still daddy's handyman, and I'm the porcelin princess that is discouraged from lifting a hammer. Hee.

Something new.

We're moving.

It is so hard to sleep Wednesday nights.

Today was filled with discipline issues. And I mean FILLED. I dealt with 8 year olds punching, kicking, hitting, teasing, and throwing rocks, and lying about it. I dealt with students blatantly refusing to follow simple directions, and destroying things in the classroom as protest. And I dealt with being humiliated in front of my peers by my professor who thought that my friends and I were not "paying attention to anything going on in the class." I would feel bad if she had legitimate reason, but she doesn't. Nor did either of the professors model the sort of disciplinary action they have taught us to implement with our students.

I know that everyone is tired and exhausted and overwhelmed, but I do not see any way that it is fair for that to be an excuse to take it out on another person. I just don't. I have been yelled, and I mean yelled, at more times in the past month than the rest of my life combined (excluding from my dad). I'm tired too, people; making me feel like crap is not helping anyone!!

I am so over wiping away tears on my way home. Thank God for the many things that keep me grounded.

I'll take it.

Buddy reading with Kindies; ice skating over lunch; chocolate shopping with Tatum; haircut with a scalp massage; home cooked meal and good conversation with Shaz, Cam, and Grandma; sweet, sweet letters from Kel.

Beautiful day.