"My Heart is Ever at Your Service"

After going to church with Alli and her boys last night, I went and got my second tattoo.

It's on my left wrist and is the traditional Chinese character for love.

I have felt so much isolation and disapproval recently, and it has been weighing heavy on my heart. Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend time with my precious friend Alli, after which I was so encouraged. (Seriously, there are some days that I don't know what I would do if she wasn't a part of my life.) Anyway, while listening to a sermon that spoke directly to our hearts, I drew this character for her and told her that I wanted to get a tattoo of it on my wrist. Her sweet smile confirmed that it was a good idea.

On the drive home, I decided that I was definitely going to get it. I didn't need the "approval" of anyone, so I told no one. I just drove home, printed off the design I wanted, then went and got it.

The symbol reminds me that my purpose on this earth is to love. To help others experience unconditional love that is free from any judgement or expectation. Because this is how I am loved, I will strive to share this with others.

"My heart is ever at your service"

~Shakespeare

Lost and Overwhelmed

Maybe I'll Read

It's 4 AM.  I've been laying in my bed for four hours, unsuccessfully attempting to sleep.

I think I'll read.

My major feels hard this week.

I have been spending hours and hours in the practice rooms, but still have a long way to go.  It is so much hard work, and so worth it in the end--but for now, it feels really hard.

This is the view out my practice room window,though....it's not all bad :-).

This is the life!

I slept in until 9:30 this morning, then turned up some Michael Franti and sat on the front porch eating my apple and sipping my coffee.

I'm loving this!!

Mommy, Mom, Mama

Kasia calls her Mommy, I call her Mom, Holden calls her Mama, and we all love her with all our hearts.

She is the type of woman who will put off buying things for herself for as long as possible, yet does not hesitate to spend money on others who she feels would benefit from it.  The example at hand is that of her bed spread.  She has had the thing for as long as we (siblings) can remember, and it is falling apart.  Literally.  There was stuffing coming out all over the place, the colors were so faded, the material was almost thread bare, and the shams had lost function.  We decided that it was time to step in.

So, for Mothers Day we kids got her a nice new comforter and duvet set that she can enjoy for the next million years and she loved it!  What a simple, beautiful woman.

Love you Mom!

The littlest worm I ever saw!

The armpit farts are classic!

Sweet Goodbyes

I said goodbye to my students and school today.  Never have I received so many hugs in one day!!  

My empty classroom.

Chase with pigtails--oh dear.

Sweet Kalea

Siney, Taylor, and Kaitlyn

Wilson, Cameron, and Frankie.

(Wilson's comment to me today was, "the best part of my whole year was that I got to come to school wif you!"

I have had tearful eyes all day (running on 1 1/2 hours of sleep hasn't helped that), and have heard the sweetest words from my students.  Today is my farewell to 200 young people I have come to know and love.  What a priviledge it has been to watch them grow!

Time Flies

Tomorrow is my final performance with my elementary schoolers.  I have spent three years with these amazing children, and oh my goodness will I miss them!!  

My days are so long and full, and my mind is on overload, but their smiles consistantly wash it all away.  

I have so enjoyed every moment spent with them!

"Shazia & Baby"

Shazia gave me a card that read: 

"In a world that sometimes forgets what true and real things are made of, you are there with your honesty.  In a world often filled with me, me, me, you are there with your unselfish heart.  In a world that needs beauty, you shine.  I appreciate your friendship...I appreciate you."

As if that wasn't enough to jerk a couple tears, she then shared this poem with me upon requesting that I be her child's godmother:

"Like stars that shine in heaven

A godmother's endless love

Lights the way for her godchild,

As the Lord gives a nod from above.

She was chosen because of her goodness

And too, for her gentle side.

But also because her godchild,

Could view her with love and pride.

For she is a perfect example 

Of all that a person should be;

A kind and caring guardian

standing by for eternity."

She signed it, "Will you?   ~Shazia & Baby"

I have never been so humbled and honored.  I so look forward to being a part of this childs life!

Date Night

I would really enjoy an opportunity to get dressed up and go on a nice date.  It would be a lot of fun :-).

Thump, thump, thump

My heart is pounding in my chest right now.  I can literally feel it.  It is pounding out of anger and frustration.  What is going on??  This is not, by any stretch, normal behavior for me.

My middle schoolers have been bringing out the worst in me.  I am just so grateful that they haven't seen it.  

Headed out.

I'm going home.  I need to sit on my mommy's lap.

Such is life.

So many things go without explanation...so many things we just do based on the assumption that it's the "right thing to do" while deep down hoping we're not making a terrible mistake. 

So we trust.  We trust that God is in control and that regardless of whether or not we do "the right thing," there is nothing that can throw him off.

With my empty hands held open today, more than ever, I detach from my ache and attach to my savior. 

Thank you, Lord, for your warm embrace.

My Girls

Dancin'

Spelling bee:

Nae Nae won, of course

Shanebo

Sweet 16

My baby brother turns 16 tomorrow!! We went out to celebrate today with a beautiful lunch with the entire family.

He has grown up to be such an amazing young man. Yesterday was a more challenging one for me, so he offered to take me shopping, cleaned the room I stay in at my parents, and drew me a nice hot bath with a lot of salts. All of this, after he first made sure that I knew that I didn't have to drive down if I didn't want to "just for his birthday."

I am so unbelievably proud to call myself his sister. He has such a kind heart and spirit, and so much potential! He will make someone very happy, someday.

Can't tell we're siblings, can you?

Race day--brrr!

Holden and I ran the Take 5 race through the Garden of the Gods this morning! It was so beautiful, and the giant rock formations were emerging from the settled fog. It was also quite cold, however. As you can see, Holden wasn't too thrilled by the time we crossed the finish line.

The weather fits.

It's a gloomy day, and one wherein my heart is especially tender.